Saturday night lights

My Chemical Romance
Panic at the Disco
Paramore
The Killers

perfect little night club in my own room.

I don't like DIY hair curlers.

"Hello, world. It's good to be back."

I find the following to be overrated:
Babies - So they're adorable and smell like bliss, but then they piss on your brand new $4,000 handbag and you have to pretend to still want to cuddle them. Yes, so it's not their fault but babies aren't all that cute. They show their true natures at feeding time.
Relationships - Boy and girls, boys and boys, girls and girls, boy/girl's and boys, you get the idea. It's not the end all and be all in The Grand Scheme of Things. Granted, they're nice to have around for public holidays and weekends.
$4,000 handbags - One voice in my head says: I spit on consumerism. Another says: They're sooo prettyyyy. The previous voice says: Consumer *snorts disdainfully*


I can't actually come up with a clever line that encapsulates the feeling that 'there's been much that went on in the past year' so yeah, life happened to me and I fought it tooth and nail. I think I enjoy struggling with denial. Anyway, I'm referring to my relationships with people, career, stuff that makes every day worth getting out of bed for. It's been a while since I wanted to write anything, I was so keen on showcasing my life before and for the life of me, I can't remember why except this desperation to make a mark in the world before it's all over. I didn't want to go down in history as well, nobody. But these days, I wish I could take back all the information I posted online before. It's so easy to stalk people, especially when you've had first-hand experience on how to dig up dirt. Well, it was a job requirement. Anyway, the point is, some stuff is meant to be private and I appreciate that more these days. To the point where I holed up in my home and turned down social invitations because I didn't want to meet anyone.

Issues, man. It's hard to deal with them alone. Especially when everything else seems static and dull and the complete opposite of how I'd imagine. It was like Bad Situation Magnified By Hundred. Phwoar. Recipe for instant depression.

Cliche'd as this seems, I want to find some peace of mind. I'm probably too young to ask for it, but really, I just want to find peace of mind. Not some happy ending, fantastic wardrobe, everlasting Tim Tams, I just want my life to be meaningful and not have that space taken up by unhealthy obsessions. I look back and I'm like, L-O-S-E-R. Dammit, I want to be a Cool Kid. The harder I tried the less happy I got. This is all so incoherent but one day, I will understand myself and then unravel the mysteries of the cosmos.

Ha.

God knows, man. But I'd still like to try.

Things that made this hellish day worth it

1) Receiving a pack of chocolate chip cookies in the in-house mail

2) Telling someone he's my 'brotha from another mutha' and getting away with it.

3) Conversation that went like this
don't stop dancing says:
my office subscribes to nst
Wilz says:
new straits times?
Wilz says:
or the straits times?
Wilz says:
got 2 versions
Wilz says:
one is malaysia the other is original