one man's tonic is another man's poison

Don't like what you see on the telly, switch the channel
don't like what you read on blogs, don't visit
don't like what you hear, don't invite gossip
But how do you escape all that is laid out in front of you
like a can of worms just ready for scrutiny
- please hand me the magnifying lens

This isn't an ephiphany
that one time oh so brilliant lightbulb moment
merely a disgusted observation of ourselves
how contrary and deceitful this world can be
worse still, what a terrible knowledge it is
to understand that after today, tommorow we'll forget each other

That is how much, dare I say - how little, we mean to each other
granted, some links are temporary while others may last
but this does not condone the crossing of that fine grey line
of utter stupidity and misplaced sense of truth
do we keep fooling ourselves that we're doing the righ thing then?
Or do we use arrogance as a cloak to conceal the rest of our flaws?

I could be talking about Bush or the Hezbollahs
I could be talking about myself or my associates
and it would all be the same
you believe in your absolute truth and that IS your world
there is nothing and no one else outside of it
- but that's what you convince yourself to believe.

i am farked and on hiatus

I'm going through intensive school qualifying exams the next 2 days (6 papers in only blardy 2 days). Plus I'm traveling to bandar several times this week and hopefully next week, for the military assessment. Its been horrible cos I keep getting weird nausea and slight headaches and gas. lol. Otherwise, the assessment is really taking its toll now. Mentally and physically. Exciting news I suppose. Will share my stories when I'm wasted next week. Till then, enjoy the scenery.

honestly i dunno what she's pointing at. you ask her lor?

celebrating a birthday and changing phones

24th August 2006 = Low's 18th birthday

wakakakakaka. I took out Low for a sushi birthday dinner and surprised him with Sanny n Lai. harhar. got him lotsa Warhead candy as a gift too. Lai even managed to get a last minute choc ice cream bday cake! wakakaka. so kewl. so FULL ahhhh. siao. Full oredi we still went to WYWY in Seria and met up with 2 others for drinks. harhar. Felt like puking by then. But then, it was all fun and celebratory. wakakaka. You big boy liaw ah XD hope you enjoyed it all. sorry lar no girls or booze but hey, 2nd best thing woot. wakakakaka.

So I spent about half my waking hours doing nothing, and half my waking hours with the guys. lol. Nope I didn't couldn't study today. =p

The Accident.

And then right, when I went home, I found out my dad wrecked his mobile phone. How, you ask? Dump it in the washing machine for a spin lar. XD Yeah yeah accidents happen. Shouldn' t have asked him to turn on the machine in the first place. = =" wakakaka. Anyhoo, he's using my phone now, so my SIM card is out. my number unreachable. On Sunday we're going phone shopping. I dunno for my dad or for me. XD most likely for me la. harhahr. in anycase I'm out of touch with phone models. any recommendations? function first, style second.

its 1am now. I hafta get up at 5.30am later. oh joy. I wonder what's gna happen at the ministry. So blardy full ah how to sleep. wakakaka. its been a good day. =)

ps. i know i shouldve gotten pictures, but hell, somehow cameras spoil the mood. *shrug*

delayed. a self indulging post.

Ah well, I've been busy with exams. Some papers are looking good, but some are looking really really bad. Hopefully they'll balance out each other. lol. Still hoping, always hoping for an A. sigh.

Well I've been watching a lot of movies lately.

• Click. Its funny, Sandler style. Its also those movies you get lost in. Or maybe its cos I was watching it at 2am. Its an alright movie to pass 2 hours lah.
• Ant Bully. Its alright too. Another cartoony 3D movie. Though you do get a lil huh? after seeing Antz and Bug's Life.
• watched The Lake House. Its a good weepy mushy romance *oh be still my heart*. yeah. its goooood.
• Anastasia. Yeah the old cartoon movie. Well so what if I loike cartoons. hmph.
• You've Got Mail! that's a really good movie. Awesome soundtrack. Come to think of it I haven't seen Meg Ryan in movies lately.
• Superman Returns. WAHAHAHAHAHaha...I was literally laughing everytime the blue guy did something corny. XD Its really really really corny that its cool. XD

Yeah I've got 2 more movies in my collection I'm gna watch during the weekend. Oh no, the exams aren't done yet. wakakakakka. Monday Tuesday Wednesday left. Blardy. 6 papers in all. that's all that's all. Then the holiday's begin!!! But that's when I'll be doing my revision. huhuhuhu. Pathetic lar A level student's life. = ="

oh err, i know some people are anticipating me studying in Monash, Oz, but errr, really not confirmed la k? Its only one of the places I might be going to. Nobody not even I will know where I'll be going. At least not till November or December. At the latest maybe even February next year. = =" So yeah. Who knows who knows. I'll see how it goes. I know lar my presence very refreshing XD but endure Bobo for a few more months la. =p peace!

Tomorrow's Syn's birthday! wakakakaka. Somebody is a big boy liaw. XD

when we forget who we are

This is a map of places in Iraq according to religious sects.
Much like the Roman Catholics and Christians, there lies a great and violent chasm between the Sunni and Shia sects in Iraq.
I came across stories of sectarian violence on the BBC website.
Insurgents and radicals abduct men from houses and kill them brutally.
If you're a Sunni living in a Shia settlement, your family and yourself poses as targets for the militia.
Same goes if you're a Shia living in a Sunni settlement.
These radicals will not spare you even if you are an asset to the community, they kill doctors, engineers, teachers so on and so forth.
This is digusting.
Where in Islam did God promote the slaughter of fellow Muslims?
I hate the idea of labels such as this because labels often tend to get you killed, given the 'right' circumstances.

These people used to live among each other, regardless of which Imam's teachings they followed.
But look at them now.
The American invasion did not cause this rift. In the literal sense, at least.
It is merely a catalyst for symptoms hidden under the former dictator's iron regime.
But you would think that this is the time when the people most need to band together to rebuild their nation.
Instead you have militia using God as an excuse for their own bias and insecurities.
What a poor and misleading excuse.
It is people like them who gives the silent majority around the world a bad name.

What is it within us that drives us to madness such as this?
How can one hate so much to the point of executing one's own neighbours?
And for what?
A misguided attempt at being devoted to God?
An excuse to kill?
I am appalled and angered and frustrated.
What is going on, man?

kill me now

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*bang bang bang* *shooting at innocent passerby with rifle*

im pretty sure i flunked my chem p5 just now. T_T i hate chemistry practicals cos i suck at them. hmph.

I hate today's surprises

Lets recap:

• my uncle died.
• the blardy results finally came out; physics A biology B. it sucks. really. depending on the break down ive might hafta sit for it again. get the results here.
• mrs v is back!!!!!!111 this means i've got a better chance at ace-ing bio in october.
• i think i have stalker. or just some maudlin freak who thinks i'm one of them.

i say...i do hate mondays. lets see if tuesday is any better tomorrow.

he's gone.

i go about my daily tasks like i always do.
i don't think about him during the year.
i don't see him but once every year.

he's gone. he's gone. he's gone.

no more stories and words of wisdom.
no more little rumbles of laughter.

i'll miss his face.
like the bark of a tree, lined and willowy.
grooved and stretched.
strange but somehow compelling.
i'll miss his woody rumbling voice.
just like sitting under a huge droopy tree.
it shades you.
comforts you.

now he's gone.

its sunny and bright today.
like every other day.
nature is at peace again.
hj b has returned to God.

today

o wow. i had the interview this morning.

dunno what to say.

it was good. i think i did well. my mom thinks i did well. (no matter how bad i did she'd make me think i did well anyway XD) it went on for 3o minutes. o.O yeah. that long. standard time. it was good. i'm OK. things i talked about: me (lol), Bruneian teenagers' mindset, development, living in US, anti-Islam people, what I'd do in situations, female military officers, leading, engineering, my sports activities, my family, and me again. lol. something like that.

i'm just glad its over, cos i'm sick of analyzing my life and putting it into words. heh. at least the only thing i have to worry about now is the qualifying exam. HAHA. *running in circles* physics design paper tomorrow. eek. o well. nerd-ing time.

btw, i had a haircut today *wink*

ps. i just found an unmoderated comment, sitting there since june. i didn't know it was there! honest! ah no worries. you should know by now anyway, the authors o this blog ain't sissies who can't take little spats like that. wakakakakaka.

blind and deaf

it's quite ridiculous to worry about the trivial frivolities of life that we so often take for granted in light of the ongoing war between Hezbollah Lebanon and Israel.

an eye for an eye.
and we all go blind.

what makes them so uniquely terrible in their relentless finger pointing? you don't need a degree in middle east politics to know that when reason fails, compassion is the next best thing. spare me the long winded lecture on tension and conflict in that region. forget the 'israel jews are evil' argument. propaganda works both ways.

how awful. how pointless. how this war just comes across as a full blown humanitarian crisis at its worst. it is a heinous crime against humanity. we pat ourselves on the back like pretentious assholes on how far we've come since WW2 but have we? really? did we really learn? one only needs to look at darfur, rwanda, cambodia, east timor to see that for all the elegant speeches and fizzy toasts that world leaders have made, they've also closed one eye to other atrocities and kept on eating their caviar laden canapes.

we only react when the war is in our backyard.

the fact that the US government can't/won't say much about this apart from the usual anti-terrorism blather is because they have interests in both regions. Bush oh Bush, what do you do now? if you do anything at all. but don't listen to me, i am not divorced from my agenda. everyone has one.

it is disturbing to know that for all we've achieved, we're still killing each other for ideology, land and beliefs. those fathers, mothers, brothers, daughters killed in the missile attacks are our fathers, mothers, brothers and daughters too. those bloodied, wounded, burnt faces in papers are our faces too. the man in the picture lost one of his own. his grief is the world's grief.

if anything, i hope our children learn from this. 4 weeks of war and death is 4 weeks too much.

hmph

i'm on hiatus til probably the end of august... or whenever i feel like coming back. lol. its that time of the year again. hmph. yes i'm bitter. but that's me. exams exams exams. the record is 24 papers this time. hah. not sure but i think its the highest number of papers i've ever sat for. o well. dunno whether to laugh or cry. there's nothing else going on besides school, scholarships and exams. yes its that time of year again.

im gna hibernate now. don't think i can handle anymore of this #(&$.

ohmigoodness

done with the first round of assessment. have a med check up this wednesday. interview on friday. to top it off practicals every other day or so.

haiz.

my uncle's just waiting for time. cancer. horrible way to die. looks like today's weather is mourning with us.

just another one

Nothing very interesting to blog about. I'm having my first assessment practical for the s'ship this Friday. Eek. I've to wake up before 5.30am just to get to Bandar on time. = =" Good luck to me. woohoo. More than ever, 'cos the June exam results should be out sometime next week, during the start of the mock exams. *screaming to the heavens* Its a conspiracy. Really. I'm hoping really hard for those As. huhuhuhuhu. *please God pleaaaaasee*

Aside from that, I've picked up again boyband sounds. XD Remember this?

Or this? (fine...girlband.)

Oooo definitely not this though...

Hey man, old school is always the best XD

Oh INXS's new album Switch featuring their new singer JD Fortune (winner of Rock Star INXS) is quite good actually. Like real rock. har. If there's such a thing. Anyhoo, back to work. =(

ps. yummy eye candy for the girls. or even guys.

He's the Prison Break guy. Well if you haven't seen it its a brilliant series with a brilliant plot with brilliant actors in it. Of course, this one's the most brilliant one of all. XD